Food Diary
That awkward moment when it’s midnight and you realize you only ate 330 calories so far.
And that’s too little.
So you force yourself to eat green beans in scrambled egg (didn’t everyone grow up eating this?) and maple-brown-sugar oatmeal with milk before you go to sleep.
Calories In:
760
Calories Out:
1300
Total:
-540
Oh whatever. It only looks bad because I worked.
On a side note, a part of me is strangely satisfied that four food groups are represented (vegetables, protein/meats, grains, dairy).
25 DEEP Questions (screw asks, I’m answering them survey style)
1. What is more difficult for you, looking into someones eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they are telling you how they feel?
I hate telling people how I feel so the first one is more difficult no matter what.
2. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. WHY were you angry? Do you still feel the same way?
I can’t remember the last time I was angry. I mean, I remember certain times when I was angry but not all of them and definitely not the last one. I was probably angry at someone in my family for being a dick or because I was just in a bad mood.
3. You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make ONE phone call. Who do you call? What do you tell them?
I don’t know. I don’t think it would really matter to me. I’d be more worried about dying. I guess my mom since she’s probably the first one they’d tell after I died.
4. You are at the doctor’s office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid?
I would tell my family and close friends but not anyone else. Hell, I wouldn’t want to tell anyone but I know if it was the other way around, I’d want to know if someone I love was going to die. I’d probably get very sentimental in that month. I’d go to the beach, pet kittens, eat delicious food, jerk off a lot, things that let me enjoy my senses for the last time. I would have sex with a stranger and try opium. I’d cry. Because of course I would be afraid. I don’t want to cease to exist.
5. You can have one of the following two things. Which do you choose? Why? Love and Trust.
This is such a vague question. Am I to assume you mean with my partner? I don’t know. I don’t think you can have one without the other. I’ve never been in love, however, and even though I hear it’s [sometimes] very nice, I know what trusting someone feels like. So the second. Because what if love doesn’t turn out the way I wanted it to be? What if it’s a very painful love? Trust, I know and understand.
6. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late even once more, you are fired. Do you take the time to save the dogs life? Why or Why not?
If I didn’t think I would die or get seriously injured, I’d save the dog. I could always find another job. But if I able to help, I don’t think I’d be able to walk by and not care that another life was suffering.
7. Would you rather be hurt by the one you trust the most or the one you love the most?
By the one I love the most. Because if I love someone more than anyone else in my life, I could probably forgive them for hurting me. But if someone I trust more than anyone else hurts me, I would never trust them to such an extent again.
8. Your best friend confesses that he/she has feelings for you more than just friendship. He/she is falling in love with you. What do you (or did you) do/say?
I’m going to answer this in a very general manner, not with my current best friends in mind. If my best friend was a woman, I wouldn’t know what to say. I’d kindly ask what she expected since, as my best friend, she’d know I was not attracted to women. If my best friend was a man and I had purely platonic feelings toward him, I’d apologize and tell him that I am not attracted to him. And though it would hurt, I would give him space if he wanted it. If it was a man I could see myself with, I’d consider giving it a shot. But I’d be very hesitant due to fear of ruining the friendship.
9. Think of the last person who you know that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give up one year of yours. Do you do it? Why or Why not?
No. Maybe I would if it was someone I deeply cared about so that I could spend another hour with them. But the person I knew who died was a girl at my high school who I’d spoken to once. I was very sorry that she died, especially since it was no one’s fault (flu complications) and she was very young, but one year of my life is not worth an hour for a stranger.
10. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?
I suppose. I’m fairly rational and very private when it comes to personal matters. I can sometimes come off as insensitive or abrasive without meaning to. Because of that, I try to see the best in the people I’m close to. If one of my friends says something that I think is hurtful, I remind myself that they probably didn’t mean it in the way that I understood it. I am generally quite mellow and think I have a good sense of humor. I usually don’t let things get to me but on the rare occasion that I do, if I don’t feel like I can confront someone, I let the bad feelings fester and eventually blow up. Overall, I think I get along with other people similar to myself.
11. Does love = sex?
No. Sex is a physical action. You can do it with or without love involved. Like kissing.
12.Your boss tells your coworker that they have to let them go because of work shortage, and they are the newest employee. You have been there much longer. Your coworker has a family to support and no other means of income. Do you go to your boss and offer to leave the company? Why or Why not?
At this current time in my life, I would definitely leave (if I thought that my job would go to my coworker). Later, when I’ll have a high salary at a large company and my own responsibilities to worry about, no.
13.When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? Who was it? What did you have to tell the person?
A couple of months ago, I fought with my best friend. It wasn’t over any one thing, more like a variety of problems I felt we had in our relationship. Basically, I let bad feelings fester because I felt I couldn’t talk to her about it and then eventually I blew up. I hurled accusations, we exchanged words, and then we talked it out. It was difficult because I was terrified that our friendship was about to end but it didn’t and ultimately, I am much happier now.
14. What would be (or what was) harder for you to tell a member of the opposite sex, you love them or that you do not love them back?
I’ve never told the opposite sex that I loved them before so I don’t know. I can’t compare the two options from experience. I know that it was hard enough telling someone that I didn’t like them back so I can’t imagine what it’s like when someone professes genuine love for you and you don’t return it. I think I’ll go with the second option because I wouldn’t tell someone I loved them unless I was absolutely certain that I felt so and that they returned the emotion.
15. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose?
Again, extremely vague. Do you mean materially? I suppose the internet (though I understand it’s not a physical thing) because I use it so often for everything. I don’t even think I need to explain. Anyone reading this will know. Otherwise, probably a loved one. Maybe one (or more) of my senses.
16. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them. Who were they to you?
Three hours ago to my father, who I love very dearly.
17. If there was one moment and one time in the last month what would you change and why?
I can’t think of a single instance. I would study harder for my math and accountancy exams in the very beginning of May.
18.Imagine it is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear someone walking around outside your window. WHO do you wish was there with you?
Outside the window? Or at my side? Either way, my sister. I really miss her. She’s probably the only person I can spend the entire day with every day for a month and not be annoyed or desperate for space.
19. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? Why or Why not?
If I knew how and I didn’t freeze up from fear, yes. CPR involves chest compressions and blowing air into someone’s mouth. We wouldn’t be exchanging spit so there’s no danger of me getting an incurable disease or virus. There’s no reason not to try and save another’s life.
21.You are holding onto your grandmother’s hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other. Who do you let fall to their death? What was your rationale for making the decision?
Logically, it would make sense to save the infant, especially since I don’t particularly like my grandmother. But if this actually happened, who knows? We surprise ourselves in the moments when our instincts take over. Perhaps I really would save the child. Or maybe I wouldn’t.
22. Are you old fashioned?
I don’t understand the question. I don’t mean to be difficult, honestly. But “old fashioned” is extremely subjective so I can’t answer that. I don’t know what you mean.
23. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it?
If I remembered such a time, wouldn’t that suggest I was only doing the nice action to feel good about myself and defeat the entire purpose?
24.Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a broken heart, or never loved at all? Why?
…I think the first. Though I shy away from pain (and the first does sound quite painful), I think being able to experience true love would be worth it and would ultimately make me a more experienced person. Besides, the second option does not come without the pain of loneliness.
25.If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be?
Happiness. I know it’s a cop-out but I feel like it would achieve a lot of things at once. I wouldn’t be happy if my father was unwell, would I? Or if my mother was a narcissistic nightmare? If people in my family didn’t get along and my siblings lived far away? If I had low self esteem? If I didn’t have a successful career? If I never found love? But for those who think this answer if unfair, I wish everyone I love to be in the best of health.
(Source: kylegeraghty, via newzealandsbiggestloser)
This is such a perfect thing. Especially in black.
(Source: stretchthis, via misfit-to-missfit)
